Mr. Tall, Dark and….

(a story from back in the day)

So, I have this thing with bouncers, doormen- you know the bulky confident type who can kick your ass if you look at them wrong. Yup. That’s my cup of tea. And I’m not quite sure if I am attracted them or they are attracted to me- but either way I find them and they find me.

This particular one is from a while ago. A few of my friends wanted to go out, and I got to choose the place. It was this cute little lounge where they served my favorite drink- Stockholm Royale. My lame friends didn’t want to pay for the fancy martini- so they went to the liquor store while I went inside. I strolled up to the bar and sat comfortably at the corner seat. Then suddenly, Mr. Tall, Dark walks up to me and sits down. Now at first I just thought he was a friendly patron of the bar. Then he proceeded to ask me if I frequented the bar. I had, and then he asked me if I tried the food. I hadn’t. He handed me a menu and I perused the options. I wasn’t really hungry for food...

Then he stood up, and told me he was on the clock and that he’d be right back because he had to do a check. Oh! He was a bouncer. I’m game, I know this drill. He came back, and we chatted more. Simple get to know you convo. He was charming, not rude. He was a man, not a boy.

My friends came and left, and I was still captivated by this man who was spending time doting over me. Then it was last call. Then it was 2 o’clock. Then it was 3 o’clock and I was standing outside his SUV. He was looking fine as all get-out and then I noticed he had a Joni Mitchell cd in the truck. Now, I’m not hating- but I sure don’t know many large black men to be a fan of the songstress. But I shrugged it off. Asked some more questions, gave a scrumptious hug and went on my giddy way.

We saw each other a few times throughout the next weeks.

Second part of the story- my local radio show had a quiz going on. I called it, answered the question right, and won the prize. It was to see a performance- that I was mildly excited to see. I also received a meet and greet with the cast. I gathered my best gay and went to the meet and greet. Guess what? It was the same bar Mr. Tall, Dark worked at. I was excited to run into him again.

While I was there, I met the radio show host. She was stunningly beautiful. She even said I was beautiful. Those things make me blush honestly. We all sat down and had h'orderves and drinks. I then noticed- Mr. Tall, Dark was at the event. Then I saw that he proceeded to sit at the same table as the radio show host. Then, I realized that there were small mixed children at the same table. And then, I made the connection Mr. Tall, Dark was married to Ms. Radio Show Host. 

And that is how he became Mr. Tall, Dark and Married.

UGHH. Why? Do I have “the other woman” tattooed on my forehead? He lied to me the entire time. 

AND THEN- he had the audacity to still want to be friends- after he clearly saw me that night!