September 6, 2012

Guy Friends or An Enigma

Let me just say how exhausted am I at some of my “guy friends”. This specifically goes out to those guys friends who would never say we dated, but somehow wind up with some kind of chemistry by the end of the night. Yah, YOU! I hope you do read my silly little blog, because it’s your turn to be brought up.

I’m tired of these types of guys friends because in actuality they are not good friends at all. They, at times of their need and want, present a false intimacy. I foolishly take it hook, line and sinker because I am truly looking for intimacy (even in an honest friendship). I end up getting fooled because a person of the male persuasion cultivates a serious of exchanges with me whereupon I feel they have gained trust.   That trust is often gained by seeing each other in a multitude of platonic and or group casual settings. Then magically, there is this unspoken agreement that we should be in closer proximity, flirt more and have notions with each other under no what-so-ever verbal agreement of anything more than friends.

Is my little heart so fragile, ignorant or naïve? Why do I keep collecting these types of guy friends who really end up manipulating me for some kind of physical affection? Yuck.

I know, I know- I’m working on my backbone for all you prudent, black and white, strong-willed ladies. It takes time to see the light and come out these types of relationships. My new goal is to stop them before it starts. Honestly, these guy friends aren’t worth my time, especially if they are not truly interested in my betterment. My plan is to set new boundaries and if these so called friends are truly my friends then they will be respected and we can commence with a positive and healthy friendship.

So, for YOU listening (reading rather)- if you just want a hug or a kiss or a cuddle at the end of the night- DUECES.  That is not why I’m your friend and you have your motives all wrong. If you want a girlfriend who can provide the previous things then go find one- it’s not me! I will take on my own responsibility and do my best to provide you with more “No’s” and “What the hell are you doing?”- if that will help you more. Stop using women to get your silly needs met over their personhood. We are not toys, we are humans with feelings too. If this does bring about a light bulb over your head- and somehow you have been brought to repentance- maybe you should reconsider your definition of a friend. In the case you plan to be my friend, sans the cuddle-bits, you might want to apologize for your douchebaggery, grow up and make appropriate boundaries. This is my last warning or you will be permanently cut out.

Thanks, love you like a friend, a real friend who tells the truth. 


  1. "Douchebaggery". Best word ever! Proud of you, love. Can't wait to see where this leads you!

    1. Yah, I was mulling on this topic for a while now, probably like several years. I'll text you my other thought. lol


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